31/12

After a decade, I tend to sit down here and recap all the things that have occurred during the ten years out of seventeen of my life.
2000-2010. that’s a big leap for me.
Have I grown? I think so.
Have I learnt of life? I bet I did and there are still a lot of chapters I shall be writing on.
2000: I was in Standard 2, probably the most outstanding year in my primary life. I was First in class and the whole standard. Haha that is really funny when you look back. All the head-up, walk-straight and smile-to-mummy’s-camera things are long gone. All the attention and glory, and self-content. Haha. Also the year I danced until my skirt fell off. Geez. That was with AMU and a bunch of people I try to relocate, probably on Facebook! Haha.
2001: This year is not as “glorious” anymore. Though I still got my spelling bee winner trophy, so I guess, it’s alright. And I learnt that my very first piano teacher was leaving me. Oh gosh, how hard I cried when I read the poem she gave to me. When she held out the pink paper and told me that she cannot be my piano teacher anymore, I was really holding back tears, and had stuffy nose. I tried to be a big girl and convince myself that I can do it even without her being my teacher. I tried. But, Ms Leong, I simply can’t find another music teacher that can replace you.
2002: I guess this was the year I became such a nightmare to all my teachers. Maybe partly because, I did not feel happy at home, and I have the tiniest idea of why I was behaving such a way. I felt ashamed that I let myself get that far. Sorry to all the teachers that have been mad at me and thought that I couldn’t be any worse. But thanks to all of you who have yelled at me and given me the traditional “treat” – the cane, that at some point, I finally gave up being a brat and “change devil return straight”. (Oh gosh, watching too much Singaporean movies has the effects). Plus, I discovered that I have this really huge crush on this guy, who has know transformed into a very mature person, compared to this particular year.
2003: The year I finally put dancing back into my life. And the year I started my piano lessons with a new teacher, Ms. Geraldine, who has made me realize music is fun and pampered me quite a lot. Thank you, for bringing back to me my passion for piano. Thank you too, for always giving me those lifts when I’m stranded in your house. And she too left me behind. Hope she’s doing really well in Singapore. You too, Joshua!
2004: So-called, the doom-day for standard 6 people. So not true. What’s the pressure? I guess that Man’s greed for power and improvement, also, have made an increasing demand for all A-scorers. I don’t really think that I had a very kiddy kind of kid-hood. Like chasing after chickens in your backyard, climbing a tree barefooted, playing games with rocks or swimming in rivers or making bees angry. I guess that time changes a lot of things, and probably changed the lives of the new generation. This is the year we will very soon be parting, though still all in Penang, to attend different high schools. I couldn’t help but cry over it. I couldn’t recall why I was so sensitive then. Oh gosh. And this particular year, I grew rebellious, kind of. I tend to pull long faces and remain silent when nagged at. Maybe because I have been denied the chances to be with my friends, to be in malls or to go for the school trip, I just felt left out and constantly struggled with my conscience, telling myself that it doesn’t matter. But it does! I blamed my parents for stopping me from going to the trip with my class, blamed them for shutting me out from freedom, blamed them for shoveling me away from a very big part of primary school memory which I died to have. I blamed them from taking all of the happiness I could have had with my friends away from me. But only now that I look back and realize: haven’t you lived on all these years? You still can walk and talk and laugh! You did not die of suffocation or lost your foot from stamping continuously. So, grow up. And I guess I did somehow.
2005: So we all stepped into our next chapter of our lives- high school! I still am really sorry about all that I’ve done in this year. I just merely meant to make you feel safe and for the disturbance to go away. I thought I was good enough to make the person go away. Forgive me, I was still very naïve. Forgive me. And thanks to Ee Wei, JLan and Juliet, who have all accompanied me and tried to make me feel happier all the time. Thanks people. Cheers! Plus, I really feel bad for always skipping CO for lame excuses. Heehee.
2006: The year I met Mr Leonard, one of the people who inspire me. Good luck in your future music-making path. The year the four of us stuck together, plus a lot more, who finally became members of the Chuan family. No no. I never ever forgot each single one of you. The year I got really wild and happy and splashy! The days where I used to bring my umbrella and we would play truth-of-dare and the losers were made to get into the toilet with the umbrella! And the winners get to SPLASH with a.m.a.p.(as much as possible) of water! Woohoo~ It was indeed, by far, the most memorable year of my secondary life. Thanks guys, for making up a big part of my life.
2007: The year where a lot of unexpected things started to happen and a lot of other things started to spin out of the course. And the year I cried the most, I guess. This particular year I realized that being sad and down isn’t the way to live on. We have to forgive and forget in times and also to fight and stay strong. And I sincerely apologize to those I have upset and say once more, that some things are not under my control. I too have undergone much trouble myself and I want you to know that whenever I feel scared and unsecure, you guys were my strength and purpose to go on. DBSK hwaiting! Hope all of you are happy with your decisions, cause I’m still me, no matter what. And to the guy I thought I would stick with for the rest of my life, I sincerely apologize to you for the abrupt conversation I struck up. You deserve someone better. You think I did not struggle to make the decision? You think I did not feel bad? You think I did not cry? Guess what, I don’t know what the heck went wrong with me but believe me, I had my hard times too. Could you not think of possibilities that maybe someone found out and I simply had to let go? Okay fine, it’s stupid. Anyways that is over and I’ve got my life and you’ve got yours, so move on. The befriending offer I gave you was so badly rejected I got surprised, honestly. Nevertheless, I thank you for the nice memories we share together, for the teachings, for letting me grow up and see the bigger part of the world. Thank you. I hope that you treat that girl right. Good luck to the both of you.
2008: A twist, a small one cause I know I won’t be for accounts. Heehee. Thanks Mok, for believing in me. And also thanks to the whole “Howl’s Moving Castle” crew for believing in me. This year, I bet my CO attendance has improved! Cause going to school sees more of CO than boring lessons in class, oops! P/S: I LOVE EUNICE! The girl a.k.a. Miss Sunshine has certainly brought a lot of laughter and happiness in my life. Thanks to Ms Heroine for teaching me Additional Mathematics, though I failed the whole year through. And thanks for people in CO so much, for letting me realize that it’s more than just for marks and the stupid green card, it’s just how amazing we all can sit down and make music together, how we are family. =)
2009: The second time I put my voice to the test, and with mere luck and chance, grabbed a Gold. The year you came into my dream(I’m SERIOUS!) and kept visiting. Oh gosh. Well, that’s the time I really really felt that I am so dependent on a person that I felt what you felt. And since you show that you’re happy all the time, you make me happy too. And do you know the simple words you say to me mean much more and that I keep it so that when I feel gloomy and blue, I could always look for you and without fail every time, you cheer me up and make me feel energetic and motivated again. That’s how much you influence me. And also, this year is the SPM year, so I do hope that I get flying colours ! =) you too, darling.I guess this year is more about growing up and doing more stuffs by our own.Moreover we're already 17 !! So all the best to all my schoolmates and school-leavers. The community depends on all of us.

So, i guess everyone is looking forward to a wonderful year ahead. The start of a new decade, the start of a new life ~! GAMBATTEH!! =)