13/3

It's 11.11pm already.

I don't remember posting at any other hour, except late at night.

These few days we have been at peace; no fighting - just real serious talking.

Finally, we have come to a consensus.

Finally, we are no longer hiding from each other.

Not even the slightest feeling, not even the slightest thought.

And yes finally, you are completely honest with me; with us.

And finally, you let me acknowledge how important we are to each other; which I pathetically thought only would work one way.

Probably I am too dire in need of assurance?

You asked me to move on.

I want to jerk your hair and ask you whether you know just how much it is killing me to see you off with another girl? Somebody that I don't even know!

Perhaps I have already assumed and taken you as my essential part of life and have already gave myself the authority to think that as much as you influence my emotions, I might have the same influence on you.

Maybe at one point, my assumption was true?

Now I no longer know, or somehow I have reached the point I NEVER wanted to reach - to stop believing in you. Well, not in terms of whether you were speaking of the truth or not, but more than that. Much more than that.

I stopped believing the fact that "You being happy is enough".

It's really simple. I believed in that before the new character appeared in this chapter of our story.

Before her, you were happy too. Or at least I believed that you were and that probably I had the magic to make you feel happy.

Until you needed to make me happy.

And then until I had to fake my feelings sometimes, so that you could be happy.

At one point it didn't matter whether you were happy as an individual or whether you were happy WITH her.

I shouldn't be having any prejudice or hard feelings, whatsoever, against her.

But I hate her, deep down under.

I hate how she just miraculously popped up suddenly in your life and just robbed you away.

Childish? Yes I do admit that I am damn childish; disliking the person who took away my candies.

This hatred will be abrupt, I hope.

Damn.

This just sucks.

You say you wanna be responsible of what you did. To me. To us.

Too late?

I still, stubbornly, don't want to lose you.

I am so effing sorry, but I am going to still stick to you.

:)