28/2 - Le 360th post!

Finally I have made it - the 360th!

I always miss out ---th posts because I normally don't check out how many blog posts I've posted.

I always just wonder whether you've been here today or yesterday; sometimes I wonder why my life revolves around you.

It's really sickening to get the multiple, continuous slapping on your own face; realizing that what you have been going after all this while, is wrong.

Fawesome, when I come to think about what we have.

We have been through a lot; not exactly everything but, a lot.

Gosh the fights were ugly, just because we are both super stubborn people.

At one point of time I really, really thought that we are always going to make it through.

This time, you really had me shattered.

I watched quietly as the pieces of me dissolved away and vanished slowly.

To where they're headed? I have absolutely no idea.

I will rather set them free, than to have them here with me.

It will be less suffering for them in another place where we don't exist.

Before this, you were always there for me; always reconfirming your existence and willing presence to be there for me - through think or thick.

Even when I feel like I'm starting to lose you, you always come back and pull me back to us.

This time, since there are "two less lonely people in the world", I don't know what to feel.

I have been too accustomed to you. You are everything.

I can't do things properly. And yeah I guess this started since some time ago but I was still alright because you were still around, within reach.

Now I'm left here.

I'm not saying that I have been left with nobody else, no friends.

I am always grateful that I have great people surrounding me who are always supportive and caring. You know who you are and I appreciate what you have done as true friends.

I have to always blast myself with music. At least by that way I could stop the thoughts and also myself from spreading out the un-happiness.

I don't want to be tired of you; I am just tired of the situation we have put ourselves into. I won't say that you have put us here, it's never your fault. I would never blame you.

You haven't been talking properly to me since like, the movie?

I hate myself for my ego. And I hate how much you do things that you ALREADY know I dislike.

You know I know that you know!

What the hell is taking you so long to realize that I'm actually so heartbroken that only you can mend it?

Or you're just stepping away NOW because you have her?

Twice, you have been in love with two other girls beside me.

This is the third time.

Yes, three times repeating the same mistake is really stupid.

Why will it never be me?

I seriously don't understand you sometimes.

I just, love you so much.