28/2 - Le 360th post!

Finally I have made it - the 360th!

I always miss out ---th posts because I normally don't check out how many blog posts I've posted.

I always just wonder whether you've been here today or yesterday; sometimes I wonder why my life revolves around you.

It's really sickening to get the multiple, continuous slapping on your own face; realizing that what you have been going after all this while, is wrong.

Fawesome, when I come to think about what we have.

We have been through a lot; not exactly everything but, a lot.

Gosh the fights were ugly, just because we are both super stubborn people.

At one point of time I really, really thought that we are always going to make it through.

This time, you really had me shattered.

I watched quietly as the pieces of me dissolved away and vanished slowly.

To where they're headed? I have absolutely no idea.

I will rather set them free, than to have them here with me.

It will be less suffering for them in another place where we don't exist.

Before this, you were always there for me; always reconfirming your existence and willing presence to be there for me - through think or thick.

Even when I feel like I'm starting to lose you, you always come back and pull me back to us.

This time, since there are "two less lonely people in the world", I don't know what to feel.

I have been too accustomed to you. You are everything.

I can't do things properly. And yeah I guess this started since some time ago but I was still alright because you were still around, within reach.

Now I'm left here.

I'm not saying that I have been left with nobody else, no friends.

I am always grateful that I have great people surrounding me who are always supportive and caring. You know who you are and I appreciate what you have done as true friends.

I have to always blast myself with music. At least by that way I could stop the thoughts and also myself from spreading out the un-happiness.

I don't want to be tired of you; I am just tired of the situation we have put ourselves into. I won't say that you have put us here, it's never your fault. I would never blame you.

You haven't been talking properly to me since like, the movie?

I hate myself for my ego. And I hate how much you do things that you ALREADY know I dislike.

You know I know that you know!

What the hell is taking you so long to realize that I'm actually so heartbroken that only you can mend it?

Or you're just stepping away NOW because you have her?

Twice, you have been in love with two other girls beside me.

This is the third time.

Yes, three times repeating the same mistake is really stupid.

Why will it never be me?

I seriously don't understand you sometimes.

I just, love you so much.

26/2

在對的時間找到對的人，這是童話;

在不對的時間找到對的人，這就是青春 。





我很傻，有一时认为可以为你奉上青春。


我彻底的输了。


我彻底的错了。

25/2

HEAR WHAT OPRAH WINFREY HAD TO

SAY ABOUT MEN :

If a man wants you,

nothing can keep him away. If he

doesn't want you, nothing can make

him stay. Stop making excuses for a

man and his behavior. Allow your

intuition (or spirit) to save you from

heartache. Stop trying to change

yourself for a relationship that's not

meant to be. Slower is better. Never

live your life for a man before you find

what makes you truly happy. If a

relationship ends because the man

was not treating you as you deserve

then heck no, you can't "be friends". A

friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't

settle. If you feel like he is stringing you

along, then he probably is Don't stay

because you think "it will get

better"You'll be mad at yourself a year

later for staying when things are not

better.The only person you can control

in a relationship is you. Avoid men

who've got a bunch of children by a

bunch of different women.He didn't

marry them when he got them

pregnant, why would he treat you any

differently? Always have your own set

of friends separate from his.Maintain

boundaries in how a guy treats you. If

something bothers you, speak

up.Never let a man know everything.*

He will use it against you later.You

cannot change a man's behavior.*

Change comes from within. Don't EVER

make him feel he is more important

than you are...Even if he has more

education or in a better job.Do not

make him into a quasi-god.He is a

man, nothing more nothing less.Never

let a man define who you are.Never

borrow someone else's man.If he

cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.A

man will only treat you the way you

ALLOW him to treat you. All men are

NOT dogs.You should not be the one

doing all the bending...Compromise is

two way street. You need time to heal

between relationships...There is

nothing cute about baggage...Deal with

your issues before pursuing a new

relationshipYou should never look for

someone to COMPLETE you...A

relationship consists of two WHOLE

individuals...Look for someone

complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn

out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you

sometimes...when a man always know

where you are, and you're always

readily available to him - he takes it for

granted Never move into his mother's

house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't

fully commit to a man who doesn't give

you everything that you need.*Keep

him in your radar but get to know

others. Scared of being alone is what

makes a lot of women stay in

relationships that are abusive or

hurtful: Dr. Phil says You should know

that: You're the best thing that could

ever happen to anyone and if a man

mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good

thing. If he was attracted to you in the

1st place, just know that he's not the

only one.They're all watching you, so

you have a lot of choices.Make the

right one. Ladies take care of your own

hearts...

23/2

I can feel you slipping away.

21/2

Appreciate all the love I have from the people around me who love and really care about me.

You guys know who you are.

<3 p="">
After reading this piece, I kept crying. Hope what it says is true.

如果你不爱一个人，请放手，好让别人有机会爱她


如果你爱的人放弃了你，请放开自己，好让自己有
机会爱别人

有的东西你再喜欢也不会属於你的，


有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的，

人生中有许多种爱，但别让爱成为一种伤害。


有些缘分是注定要失去的，


有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的，

爱一个人不一定要拥有，但拥有一个人就一定要好
好的去爱他。


男人哭了，是因为他真的爱了；


女人哭了，是因为她真的放弃了。


如果真诚是一种伤害，我选择谎言；

如果谎言是一种伤害，我选则沉默；

如果沉默是一种伤害，我选择离开。

如果失去是苦 你怕不怕付出


如果迷乱是苦 你会不会选择结束

如果追求是苦 你会不会选择执迷不悟

如果分离是苦 你要向谁倾诉，


好多事情都是后来才看清楚，


好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦，然而我已经找不到
来时的路 。


有一种爱,明明是深爱,却说不出来.


有一种爱,明明想放弃,却无法放弃.


有一种爱,明知是煎熬,却又躱不开.

Thank you girl, for your emails.

Love you too. 

20/2

Have been a lot of internal struggles, internal bruises - too many due to multiple times of getting back up on both feet and then tripping again; and the cycle continues.

And continues.

And continues again.

And again continues.

So on, and so forth.

:)

如果不能够永远走在一起

也至少给我们

-怀念的勇气

-拥抱的权力

好让你明白

我心动的痕迹

17/2

I just flipped the "January" away from the calender that has been dangling alone in my room for the week's holiday.

Well, happy holidays?

Wish so.

You know how great it feels to finally be more able to say to yourself that you are finally getting over the sad part of life?

I'm not exactly smiling now but hell yeah, I cut my hair.

Probly because of you.

;)

13/2

I find myself very relate-able to practically everything.

Am I so generalized?

Or is it simply because I'm so NORMAL; living the mundane normal life?

I'm fussy about being normal; I don't want to be boring.

Just as Najib was slapped in the face by the public, I was also repeatedly slapped in the face by you, by myself and by people around me.

All the slaps, serving as waking-up-purpose.

Which always failed BORINGly.

And I wonder why I did not feel the need to change since I was always afraid of being "bored" and "boring".

I guess it's another element of me - stubbornness.

And another - ego.

Why is letting go always the hardest process in life?

People say :"You always have to have a dream."

Hell yeah, dream too much, fall too much.

She said :"Holding back your tears doesn't mean that you're not sad, it doesn't mean that you're not broken inside; it just signifies that you have come to realize and understand more things in life."

Hell yeah, sometimes the tears are just too heavy and strong.

They say :"Hello, there are still so many forests out there, let go of this effing tree!"

Hell yeah, sometimes you just have to be content. -refer to the Dream statement-

Happy Valentine's Day to you, my special one.

Hope you have a fantastic date with her.

And yes, I have decided.

That I will smile when I see the both of you.

Probably will cry like hell afterwards but hell yeah, I'll smile first.

:)

5/2

Finally, I'm back. :)

There are multiple reasons, if I were to come up with them, why I did not blog for quite some time.

1. Holidays. I didn't even touch my laptop for the whole 3 weeks.

2. Time. I have been always occupied with stuff - important and unimportant.

3. You. I just suddenly lost everything. I even went back to writing lyrics.

And so many more petty reasons.

Okay. Actually I made up 1 & 2.

No more lies.

Enough lies.

It just sucks; to push away what you need, to say "I don't" when your heart is crying "Hell yeah I do!"

Tearing up is just super random.

It's totally easy, I can do it anywhere, anytime, anyhow.

Totally proud of myself. :)

The fact that you're trying to push ME away from yourself is totally killing.

How could you change so abruptly?

I still can't believe that you are even the same person.

Why do we have to go through this?